Chelsee Bergen – Executive Editor and Resident Media Junky

Chelsee likes media— especially the episodic, televised kind. She has a deep (and admittedly irrational) fear that she will one day be replaced by a cyborg or some alternate version of herself (Chelsea) and no one will notice. When she’s not being collegiate or watching television, she collects teas (which she drinks while watching TV and being collegiate). She hopes to one day be paid to make stuff up, and so perhaps should be pursuing a marketing degree. Chelsee has a superiority complex, and an inferiority complex about it.

After her time at Everything is Problematic she went on to co-found Umbrella Terms Magazine with Erika Hang in 2014, and in 2015 founded Homeward Press and Chelsee Media.

Iris Diane – Resident Cunt Reclaimer

My name is Iris. I’m a feminist, a student, a writer, a daughter, and a cunt. I hope to eventually do fantastic things with my life like travel and have a fulfilling career.

Alex – Editor and Resident Luddite

Alex lives & writes in texas & enjoys dirt.

Belen Figueroa – Resident Narwhal Baconing Expert

I am a lover of people. Seriously. If you’ve ever looked at anyone and thought, ‘that person is so __________, who would ever love them?’ then I have probably accepted your challenge. I am easily amused. I do what I want, and that includes using Comic Sans and loudly complaining about the minor inconveniences in my life. Also, you know that person who always gets a lucky break, like the universe is rooting for them or something? That’s me too. Hi, I’m Belen.

Hipkin – Resident Elitist

Hipkin is a whore for self congratulatory self promotion, which is why he/she writes for a blog. He/she is very lazy though, which is why he/she writes for somebody else’s blog. Hipkin never tires of hearing the sound of his/her own voice, but recognizes that since social media has rendered us all mute, writing for a blog is the only way for the world to not get tired of his/her voice as well. Hipkin would like to assure you that his/her voice is fucking beautiful. He/she also has an odd affection for slashes.

Brittney Abad

Brittney is a girl that lives in books, loves in songs, wallows in self-doubt, fights for equality, and consumes copious amounts of coffee, preferably mochas and cinnamon dulce lattes.

You can also find her at

Molly Rautenstrauch

Molly lives in the present, which can sometimes be construed as stuck in the past with an avoidance of the frightening and inevitable future. She believes in using good butter and hairspray (though not together) and may or may not believe that she makes the best damn chocolate chip cookies you’ll ever have the pleasure of consuming. More often than not she has some sort of food on her pants, generally an odd combination of flour and cheesecake. Molly is actually pretty okay with that.